


A Stinging Reminder

by strawberrylipstick (lesbeing)



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Minor Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:01:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22425226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbeing/pseuds/strawberrylipstick
Summary: They arrive at an inn in Kamordah to rest for the night but Beau can't help going over everything she wished she had said to her father.Set immediately post episode 92
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett
Comments: 1
Kudos: 115





	A Stinging Reminder

**Author's Note:**

> I've been waiting for Beau backstory my whole life and this episode fed me. I've also never published anything I've written before (which is not a lot lol) so pls be kind and luv our lesbian disaster monk.

After they left the Lionett estate they journey into Kamordah to find an inn to stay in for the night. The atmosphere is tense while they eat and drink, Beau drinks more than she eats, everyone is clearly concerned about her but all she gives are short one word answers or grunts to any question they direct at her.  


Everyone eventually begins to make their way to bed except Beau, Jester lingers the longest hoping to convince her roommate to go with her but Beau just tells her she’ll have one more drink and then come up. She has another, then another and another after that. All the while going over everything that was said and everything that she wished she had said and whether anything had actually changed. She can’t stop thinking about that slap.

The thing was, he was so pleasant in front of her friends, so formal. That wasn’t how she remembered him from her childhood, always shouting at her and putting her down when no one else was around. The one time he had dropped the facade and lost control in front of other people was the day she was taken away and he had slapped her. He had hit her before of course but always in private, when it was only the two of them. That’s why the slap lingers in her mind because it was the one time other people had seen who he really was, who Beau knew him to be. 

As she drinks more, downs another shot or three of whiskey, she feels a phantom tingling on her left cheek, a ghost of a memory. 

Some small part of her brain that had been quiet for months started thinking that perhaps her friends didn’t believe her now that they’d actually met Thoreau, maybe they thought she’d been overexaggerating how terrible her father had been because he’d been mostly polite to them. If she had really thought about it she would know this wasn’t true and there was so much evidence in her friends behaviours during the whole interaction to show the contrary is true, but she’s far too drunk now for rational thought. She knows what he’s really like and she is just so angry that the one time his real nature broke through it had been in front of people who hadn’t cared, if only he had shown his true colours today in front of the people she loves and trusts the most, and who love her, her family. Then they would know exactly how awful he’d been. 

But, maybe she had been exaggerating. Yes he was a dick and yes he put the blame on her for their shit relationship but he had blamed himself just as much, hadn’t he? And maybe her parents do love her, like Jester had said and she would know more than anyone what a loving parent was like so if Jester thought her father loved her maybe he can’t have been that bad? Just because she hadn’t been as good a daughter as she should have been and hadn’t been able to make her dad proud of her she can’t put the blame on him for her own failure. Maybe it wasn’t Beau who had to forgive her father but more he had to forgive her.  


She doesn’t know when she left the tavern and she doesn’t know how long she had been walking or whether she had intended to go in the direction of the Lionett estate but she finds herself standing underneath the arched entrance to her childhood home for the second time that day.  
It’s far too late now for anyone to be up, it’s almost pitch-black except for the external lanterns with no light coming from inside the house. Beau moves closer towards the front door.

“What am I doing here?” She thinks. “Why did I come here?”

Her fist is raised, poised to knock on the door but it hovers just out of reach. With a sigh and a slight drunken stumble, she moves off to the side to sit on a bench just to the right of the front door. 

Her brain is a mess, the same thoughts whirling through her muddled and tired mind. She’s so zoned out and close to sleep that she very almost misses the sound of the front door opening and a tall figure stepping out. She doesn’t need to hear the sigh to know that it’s her father but it throws her right back to the numerous times of her childhood when she had done something she had thought was good and something to be proud of only to be met by that dismissive, disappointed sigh.  


He hadn’t noticed her, he was standing still and silent looking almost as dazed as she was. But suddenly she wasn’t feeling quite so dazed anymore, just seeing her father again was enough to get the rage flowing through her blood again.

“You bastard” she whispered and he whipped around, startled.

“B-Beauregard? W-what are you doing here?” He paused. “Again?”

She let out a short bitter laugh “What? Didn’t expect to see me ever again?”

“No, no it’s not that” he spoke hastily. “It’s just, well don’t you realise what time it is? Why are you here?”

“Why are you leaving the house at this time?”

“Well, I-I couldn’t sleep and thought the fresh air might help.” He was clearly rattled at his daughters unexpected visit and was clearly very wary of her in her current state.

“I thought we should have another conversation.” Beau spoke low and carefully, her voice wavering in anger “just the two of us this time, I know how you only like to show your true colours when there’s no-one else around.” She stood up and began walking towards him.

“Beauregard listen, I have said all that I have to say and if you didn’t like it then I think perhaps it is time we part ways, don’t you agree?” Thoreau Lionett stood his ground but Beau could tell his confidence was not all there.

Getting right up in his face she placed a single finger against his chest, applying just the smallest amount of pressure. Thoreau stood tall and proud but Beau could see the sweat beading on his forehead and feel his heart beating through his chest. “Look how the tables have turned dad, now who’s afraid of who?”

Suddenly Thoreau pushed Beau backwards, hard, but she remained perfectly balanced. They stood there, face to face without breaking eye contact. “You’re just the same brat you always were aren’t you? We tried our hardest with you but nothing would have helped, you’ve always been a lost cause.” And suddenly his hand bunched into a fist came flying at her face. It connected with her lip, she felt it split and could taste the blood. 

She stood stunned for a moment, she had seen the punch coming and knew she could have dodged it easily but she had frozen. She hadn’t meant to come here for a fight, she had forgotten how little it took to anger her dad.

Perhaps it was the realisation that he didn’t have any power over her anymore, that she had become strong and powerful in her own right. Shouldn’t he be proud of her for that? Isn’t that what he had sent her away to become? The disappointment, the lack of appreciation for all she had achieved stung almost as much as it always had done. 

But why should it? Why should it hurt this much and why should she care what this man thought of her? She shouldn’t need his validation anymore, her friends were proud of her, Jester was proud of her and that was more than enough for her.

“No dad, it’s not me who hasn’t changed. It’s you. Everything you said today was a lie. You only said it because there were witnesses and I can’t believe that I actually almost believed you. I can’t forgive you and I will never forgive you, but I can forgive myself for putting myself through so much pain trying to make you proud of me. I was never to blame, it was always you. I think I already knew that but…. I just had to come back and see for myself that it was true. And actually you know what? You were right about one thing dad, I think it is time we parted ways forever, I want nothing to do with you. Everything I am is in spite of you.”

“No.” He interrupted. “You can’t escape family, you’re just as much me as I was your grandfather. I tried not to become him but it was fruitless and you will see that soon too Beauregard”

“You’re right again dad, you can’t escape family because they make you who you are. But family isn’t always blood. Goodbye Thoreau.” And with that Beau pushed past him and made her way up the path away from the Lionett estate and from her past.

Back at the inn she made her way as quietly as she could into the room she was sharing with Jester but that proved pointless as Jester was already awake, seemingly waiting for Beau.

“Where have you been? Oh my gosh, Beau you’re hurt!” She gasped upon seeing Beau’s split lip as she moved into the light. In a flash Jester was next to her, soft hands cradling her jaw as she felt the familiar warmth of Jester’s healing magic flow through her.

“What happened?? Who did this??? Did you get in a fight Beau?? You should’ve told me, I would’ve helped!”

“Jes, Jessie, Jester shhhh, don’t worry I’m okay.” Beau reassured the frantic tiefling.

“You’re not okay! You’re obviously not at all okay, you got hurt and you’ve been upset all day and you drank a lot-”

“I kno- I know Jess, I know but-” Beau sighed. “Can we just sleep? I’m so fucking tired.”

Jester eyed her anxiously clearly wanting to ask her where she had been but no wanting to push her too hard.

“We’ll talk in the morning Jes, I promise.” That seemed to satisfy Jester for now and got back in her own bed still watching Beau as she took her shoes off and climbed into her own adjacent bed.

Laying on her back and staring up at the ceiling she could still feel her best friend’s eyes on her. She heard the whispered “love you Beau.” And felt her own heart soar with love. She rolled over on her side to face Jester, her eyes filling with tears as she whispered her own “love you too, Jes.”

They lay there looking at each other for a moment until Jester pulled back the covers on her bed and held her arms out in invitation. Beau happily, with a slight watery chuckle slipped out of her bed and into the waiting arms, cuddling close and tucking her head under the tieflings chin.

“I can’t forgive him, Jes, I tried.” There was silence and Beau thought perhaps Jester had fallen asleep but then-

“remember what you told me?”

“Fuck ‘em?”

“Fuck ‘em.”


End file.
